Routine

Everyday is the same shit
Wake up, grab a cup of coffee and sit
In the balcony for a cigarette
And start trying my best
To calm my mind
Think and write
Get a grip and remember
How to not surrender
To the confusion and madness
That reigns and the sadness
Comes without a reason
I think about treason
But it's not treason
I think about it and there's no pleasing
To the voice sometimes
I gotta take my thoughts
And own them, right?
It is violent occasionally
It is reminding me constantly
That I am crazy
But I know I'm not crazy
I'm just sick
Sick and tired of this shit
Called life and pissed
That it doesn't always goes like
I wish it would but I'll get by
Until it's calm and try
Again every morning
To silence the yelling
 And to put it on a paper
So I can figure out I'm the owner
Of myself and be colder
And a reasonable person
More like a bluff
I feel like I'm playing poker
With the voice and I'm going
All in with the rest of almost nothing
What I feel is left of my sanity
And not let it get ahead of me.