This one is about the weight of living

I'm tired of fighting this war
inside my head
It's someone too far gone
Versus the monster under my bed

My soul is broken and scattered
All around the floor in which I live
My mind is in panic
Because there's no belief

There is no salvation
No reason to believe
My fears grow larger
And I care what people think

The war is ending one day
I'm set to finish what you started
Years ago when you broke me down
And get the circle to keep going

Because this life is not for us
We have guns for hands
And have to carry that weight
And hurt the ones we trust

I'm tired of living in between
The pain I am in
And the pain I will cause
I'm just waiting for the first one to win

I light another cigarette because I know
That I will not get any cancer
I have a tumor in my head
That is bigger than myself

Hope is dead
Light is dead
The future is dead
But I am not dead (yet)

I'm sorry.