Afterglow

It is a dangerous illusion
An immeasurable confusion
The lightness that comes after
I do it but I won't be a beggar
I don't need more
I need this to be the core
Of my every day
This peace that comes and make the days feel a little less grey

I know it will be over soon
And I'll be back in my madness
My routine of sadness
Because that's what I think is true

But it won't be for too long
I'll find a door to get going
Moving on to another state of mind and showing
That I can find ways to become strong

For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic
Sometimes I feel like I am a clock ticking
The bell rings and the day is over
Then the night comes and there's no more hope
No getting out, it seems

They say it's not a straight ride
That the paths are open wide
With crossroads and mountains
And ups and downs
And fears and scary sounds
Getting up and falling back to the ground

There's a door somewhere
In this hell and I know
That it may lead to another hell
I've got no choice but to try to tell
The voice that I have to go
And find other paths
Other place that is not that painful to stay in

The definition of insanity is
Doing the same thing
Over and over again
And expect shit to change
I know I'm not insane
Because I'm fighting it and
Changing the directions
But am I really?
How can I know I'm not repeating the methods and not keeping records of the things I go through?

I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
Not today.
No, I am sane
Today I'm feeling that maybe
If I keep telling myself
That the night won't come
I can feel this way for a little longer that I think I would.